*Features adult language and themes.*
Her lips moved down to his neck, they were soft. Her tongue slipped out from behind her teeth and lightly traced a line over his skin. Charlie felt a thrill run through him as his body registered the unfamiliar sensation.
Chloe touched his hand, gripping it softly and moving it down to her thigh. He instinctively began to stroke along her leg. The pace of her breathing quickened.
This is going rather well.
In fact it had been going well for a while. Since their first date Charlie had spoken to Chloe every day. They still, predominately, made contact online. But the regularity of phone conversations and seeing each other in person had increased as the time had rolled on. Charlie had taken the trip to Chelmsford a few times but Chloe preferred to come to him. She said it was easier as he had his own place. She didn’t seem all that keen to take him back to where she was living with her parents. She’d spent the night at his a few times. They’d shared a bed but nothing had ‘happened.’
Charlie was nervous about the physical aspect of the relationship. He hadn’t counted their first kiss as a proper one because it had taken him by surprise as she got on the train after their first date. The next time they met in person he’d hyped himself up for another when they met. He got so nervous and self conscious that he bottled out and planted one on her cheek.
It was strange. Chloe seemed to know his mind better than he did. She’d pulled away, looked him in the eye, smiled then held his head in both hands and kissed him properly. Charlie went with it and joined in. Since then it had been a lot easier. They held hands wherever they went; hugged and kissed at any opportunity.
There had been a few times that Charlie thought it would go further but Chloe had stopped short. She was being very patient with him, refusing to push anything on him before he was ready but she didn’t talk openly about it. Everything was implied by action or rather inaction.
Now they were in his living room. Their empty wine glasses sat on the coffee table. He had to buy wine glasses especially. He’d turned the lights off and turned on some LED candles. Charlie didn’t trust proper candles, plus they flickered and glowed like real ones.
They were on the sofa, Chloe was straddling him. She was in her underwear and somewhere along the line Charlie had lost his t-shirt. He ran his hands lightly over her pale skin, he felt her lips curl into a smile as they were pressed against his own.
This is going to happen.
She slid her hand over his chest and slowly down to his belt. Charlie twitched in surprise. Chloe broke away from the kiss and slumped down on his lap facing him.
“We can stop if you want,” she said.
“No, really. You took me by surprise, is all. You know me by now. I’m a little awkward. It’s just. I haven’t… I don’t… I’m a…”
“I know, Charlie. It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
“I know. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
“Trust me. I’m ready. I’ve been ready for a long time, but my brain gets in the way.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “How did you know?”
Chloe sighed and smiled at him. That smile always made him feel better. It warmed him. “How can I put it in a way you’d understand and not be offended by? OK. When you look at a string of computer code you can spot when something shouldn’t be there, right?”
“Yeah. It sticks out like a sore thumb.”
“I’m sorry to tell you this, babe, but that’s what it’s like. I knew before we even met for real.”
“It was that obvious, huh?” Charlie felt embarrassed and turned his head away.
Chloe reached out a hand and turned it back so he was looking at her. “Yes, Charles, it was that obvious. But I’m here aren’t I? The only person here that’s bothered by it, is you. It’s not a big deal. Not to me, and it shouldn’t be to you.”
Charlie wrapped his arms around her and drew her close. “There’s one thing I’ve never understood?”
“Why do they call it ‘losing’ your virginity? Surely if you lose something it implies that you don’t know where it went. You would hope you’d know exactly where and when it happened.”
Chloe chuckled. He felt her breath on his shoulder. “I guess you’re right. Maybe your virginity is something you should give away, not lose, huh?” She pulled out of the embrace. “Charlie, sometimes you think way too much, you know?”
Chloe climbed off and stood in front of him, she reached behind her, unfastening her bra. She slid it off, covering her breasts with her arms. Then turned and looked at him over her shoulder.
“I’ll be in the bedroom if you’re ready.” She purred before sauntering towards the doorway.
Charlie sat on the sofa, stunned. He felt an ache in his groin as his erection strained against the confines of his trousers. He was nervous and a little scared, his heart was hammering against his chest and his breathing was rapid.
If you don’t get up right now and follow her, I will never forgive you. By the way, this is your penis talking not your brain. I’ve shut it up for now so make the most of it. You’ve had more than enough practice, it’s time to have a relationship with something other than your hand.
Something flew through the bedroom doorway and landed softly on the floor in front of Charlie, He leaned forward and picked up Chloe’s discarded knickers. He got up making his way to the bedroom on wobbly legs.
* * *
Charlie was awake, he’d slowly emerged from sleep. Waking up gradually happened so rarely that he made sure to enjoy it. He could sense the diffuse light in the room, just the other side of his eyelids. He felt the crust of sleep keeping his eyes glued shut. He didn’t move. He wanted to enjoy the feeling.
He wasn’t sure how he should be feeling. He was content and satisfied. He guessed he should feel a foot taller or be strutting around like a dog with two cocks but he was quite happy laying in his bed enjoying the sensation of sleep slipping away and consciousness returning.
Flashes from the night before ran through his mind. Chloe’s naked body next to his, their limbs tangling.
The happiness faded as his memory returned fully.
It hadn’t all gone to plan.
First time sex was a tricky business. Luckily he had managed to detach his mind from the process for a little while, but it battled back and caused a few issues once things had gone beyond the point of no return.
Charlie moved his arm across the bed hoping to find Chloe lying next to him. He was alone.
It wasn’t that bad, surely. She wouldn’t have left without saying anything. Would she?
Charlie refused to open his eyes to find out. He’d simply stay in bed with the good memories from the night before and be content.
He couldn’t help thinking that the world should have changed in some way. People put so much emphasis on virginity that he expected something miraculous to have happened. Perhaps he would lose all of his little idiosyncrasies that annoyed the hell out of people? Perhaps he’d find it easier to be around others? Maybe he’d become a ladies man, confident and bold? At the very least shouldn’t he get some sort of certificate? A gift voucher for Ann Summers? Anything to mark the occasion.
My mum has my oldest brother as a keepsake of her first time, so I guess I shouldn’t tempt fate.
He didn’t have any worries on that count. Chloe had taken control of everything. She’d made it very easy, very safe. That made him feel a bit bad on reflection.
Finally, he decided to open his eyes. Chloe started back at him. She was standing in the doorway holding two cups of steaming coffee. She was smiling. “You look cute when you’re asleep.”
“Shame I don’t when I’m awake.”
Chloe put the coffee cups on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. “You’re cute enough when you’re awake, just a lot cuter when you’re asleep.” She stroked the hair out of his face, leaned over and kissed him gently. “How are you feeling?”
“Pretty good, I guess. How am I meant to feel?”
Charlie sat up in bed. He felt a little shy but mustered the courage to speak. “I guess I owe you an apology.”
Chloe was taken aback. She creased her forehead. “What for.”
“Last night, you know…”
Chloe put her hand on his chest. “Trust me you have nothing to apologise for. Last night was wonderful.”
Charlie put his hand on top of hers. “You know what I mean. The… erm… timing issue.”
Chloe laughed. Charlie put his head down as shame flooded him completely. He thought he might cry.
“Seriously. You think that was a problem. It wasn’t a problem for me, Babe. In fact it made it a lot better for me. The only person that lost out was you.”
“You mean you didn’t mind?”
“Charlie, why would I mind. So you didn’t cum? I would have thought you’d be more worried about cumming to quickly.”
“I was, a bit. I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking a great deal as it was happening. I just couldn’t get there for some reason. I don’t want you to think it had anything to do with you.”
Chloe couldn’t stop herself from laughing again. “You’re so sweet. The first time is always a bit strange, for lots of reasons. The good thing is we have plenty of time to practice.” With that Chloe leaned over to kiss him. Charlie felt a fresh flood of desire and rolled her over him to the empty side of the bed.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand any of this. It’s very disappointing to think that years of watching hardcore porn hasn’t prepared me at all.
* * *
A few hours later they were sitting in Charlie’s kitchen. He was especially proud of his kitchen. He’d built the worktops himself, out of Lego. They were made out of a wide variety of different colours and sizes of blocks. The pattern looked random but was actually based on a complex mathematical algorithm he’d devised. It was a little test for the people he invited into the kitchen. If they spotted the pattern they were as big a maths geek as him.
Charlie was flipping idly through a newspaper. How is a story about a footballer cheating on his wife supposed to improve my view of the world? “Do you have to go back today?” He asked Chloe.
She was sitting on the other side of the lego breakfast bar. She ran her hand over the work surface. “How did you make these?”
“It’s easy, you just make the shapes you want out of Lego. You can use existing furniture and put a lego fascia over it, but I prefer to start from scratch. Once it’s made you have to lacquer it, which is the messy bit, otherwise any spills would get between the blocks and it would be a cleaning nightmare.” Charlie went over to the coffee pot and topped up his cup. He held up the pot towards Chloe.
“No, I’m good cheers.” she tilted her head and her face found a thoughtful expression. “Do you remember that old kids TV show ‘Bananaman? The theme song goes: ‘When Eric eats a banana an amazing transformation occurs…’ Do you think it’s a pro-gay metaphor?”
“Probably. You didn’t answer my question. Do you have to go home today.”
“Yeah, I do. I’ve got work in the morning.”
“Is there a time on your ticket?”
“No, it’s an open return.”
“Do you fancy spending the afternoon here?” Chloe smiled and nodded. “Are you absolutely sure? You can’t change your mind once you commit.”
“Course, I’m sure.”
“Excellent. I’ll tell my Mum I’m bringing company.”
“I try to see my Mum once a month. It’s just for a few hours.” Chloe slapped him on the arm.
“You git. That’s entrapment, you know.”
“I’m a giving person, I like to share. I thought I’d share an afternoon of my mother’s company with you.” Charlie held up his hand to interrupt Chloe before she could reply. “There’s no need to thank me.”
* * *
They took a bus across town. Charlie usually walked it when he visited on his own, but it was raining and he didn’t want to give Chloe any more reservations about spending the afternoon with him than she already had. Charlie insisted that they get off at least 2 stops before his mother’s house. Thankfully there was a gap in the weather. He liked to have time to compose himself. In this case he wanted Chloe to have plenty of time to prepare.
It was a nice residential estate, the houses stood back from the road. In between sat pleasing patches of grass and wide pathways. The buildings were grouped in pairs of semi-detached houses. They were made of red bricks, and clay tiles. Most of them had bay windows and porches. The houses were pushed even further from the road by front gardens and driveways.
“Why did you want me to meet your Mum?” Asked Chloe.
“For a change I didn’t think too hard about it. My main motivation is to see the look on her face when she discovers I have a girlfriend.”
“Nice. Do you want me to fake a pregnancy to drive her completely bat-shit?” Charlie laughed. Stopped. Then looked thoughtful. “No. That was a joke.”
Charlie stopped walking and turned to Chloe. “I just want someone else in my life to know you exist. OK?”
“Sure. That’s fine.”
They strolled along the path and stopped again at a gate that had a warning sign that read: ‘Beware of the dog.’
“My Mother is a little… odd, I guess.”
“For a start she doesn’t have a dog, but insists on keeping that sign on the gate. The other thing is, she’s a bit of a hippy. Likes crystals and whale music, that sort of stuff.”
“The sort of person that likes self-help books?”
“Yeah.” Charlie was just about to ring the doorbell but stopped himself. “You found my books didn’t you?”
“Uh-huh.” Chloe was grinning at him. She reached over and pressed the button. “This is going to be fun.”
The door swung open violently and a woman launched herself out of the doorway towards Charlie. Before he knew it his Mother had wrapped her arms around him and was shaking him from side to side. She gave him a wet kiss on the cheek and disengaged. “Hello, my boy. How are you?” She didn’t give him a pause to reply. She turned towards Chloe. “You must be Charlie’s friend. Are you a hugger?” Again she didn’t leave time for a reply before enveloping Chloe.
Charlie could barely see Chloe under the long draping sleeves of his Mother’s cardigan. It had a bright flowery pattern and was probably made out of recycled wheat husks or something similar.
She stood aside and ushered them in with big dramatic waves of her arms. “Well, come in, come in. I don’t want you standing on the door step, the neighbours will think I’m finding religion again.”
The hallway had a painted mural running up the stairs, it didn’t seem to be depicting anything in particular. Charlie spotted something different in it every time he came around. This time he spotted a golden Buddha playing cards with Daffy Duck. His Mother was very proud of the mural. She was constantly painting over parts and adding to the imagery with anything she fancied. It was a big hotchpotch of ideas, an excellent representation of what went on in his Mother’s head.
Charlie let Chloe lead the way.
“The living room is the first door on the right.” His Mother called out to Chloe as they filed past.
Dreamcatchers and crystals hung from the ceiling and they passed a bookcase stuffed full of dragon, fairy and elf statues. Some were colourfully painted while others had a metallic finish and were set with multi-faceted glass gemstones. A strong stench of incense was drifting out of the living room along with some soft panpipe music.
Charlie followed Chloe into the room. His Mother had never liked furniture that rose above the knee. Half of the floorspace was taken up by a daybed covered in all sorts of cushions and blankets. There were a few low tables dotted about and some extra beanbags for seating. The room was a riot of colour; deep reds, golden yellows, rich greens and regal purples. The decor seemed to take as many cultural influences as the mural in the hallway.
I always get freaked out that there isn’t a screen in this room.
In the middle of the daybed sat a man with his legs crossed uncomfortably. It looked like one of those yoga positions that you had to be double jointed to attempt, and freakish to achieve.
His Mother followed them into the room. She was a slight woman who looked a little fragile. Her face was lined from a lifetime of smiling easily. Her hair had streaks of grey in it and was long enough to fall to the small of her back if she didn’t tie it up. Today she had a long tie-dye scarf holding it in a bunch. “It’s Chloe isn’t it? Yes. My Pagan name is ‘Astrina’ but you can call me Carol.
I hardly know anything about you, dear. Charlie’s very secretive, but that’s down to his cloudy aura. He refuses to let me do anything about it.” She paused and looked at Charlie through half-closed eyes. “Hmmm, it’s cleared up a bit today.” She went over to Chloe and grasped her hands. “That must be down to you. I’ve always said he needs more of a woman’s influence in his life. Please, make yourself comfortable.” She gestured to the room as a whole.
Chloe looked bemused. Charlie wanted to let her twist in the wind, but showed her to a beanbag, he sat down next to her. They looked over at the man. He had long hair and a longer beard, as well as small round glasses with blue tints. It was strange to see so little of the skin on someone’s face. His eyes were closed and he was making a gentle humming noise.
Carol was about to leave the room, then turned and looked at the man. “Oh, take no notice of him he’s been like that for an hour, he won’t be back with us until this evening.” She left the room, then popped her head back round the corner. “Oh, by the way that’s Derek, he’s my latest.” Then she left again.
“So, your Mum seems nice.”
“She is, in her way. Apparently you’ve cleared my aura.”
“Strange that doing something dirty has cleaned you up a bit.” Chloe said it in a whisper and gave him a cheeky wink as his Mum returned to the room with a tray of herbal tea.
Mum sat on the floor and put the tea tray in front of herself and began to pour it into little glasses. “So, how long have you two been seeing one another?”
“It’s been about a month now, but we’ve been getting to know each other for longer,” said Charlie.
“You met on that internet I suppose.” Charlie nodded. “He’s obsessed with all that computer stuff. It’s his act of rebellion, you know. I’ve never allowed too much technology in this house. Growing up he never embraced the things I tried to teach him about nature and spiritualism so he took the opposite path. He gets that from his father. Has he told you about his father?”
“No, he hasn’t spoken about him.”
“Didn’t think he would. He left us when Charlie was 5 or 6. He was a stubborn man. He took off and left me to raise three boys alone. We managed though didn’t we Charlie.” He nodded again. “He’s a good boy really. He’s always helped me as much as he can, bless him.” She paused and squinted in Charlie’s direction. “You look different somehow. It’s not just your aura.”
Can she tell I’ve had sex?
“You had your hair cut?”
Carol shuddered. “No matter. Chloe, tell me a bit about yourself.”
They drank the tea, it tasted better than it smelled and Chloe gave Charlie’s Mother the edited highlights of her life and their relationship so far. Charlie couldn’t remember his Mother staying silent for so long.
In the middle of a sentence Carol stopped Chloe short and declared: “I like you. I think you’re good for Charlie. I’ve been waiting for such a long time for him to find someone.” She turned her attention back to her son. “Charlie I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I’ve been following the Kurt Sampson Column in ‘Self’ magazine. I know you don’t put much stock in that sort of thing, but it’s been helping me the last few months. This month there’s a bit about family and friends. I’ve gone through and assessed the people in my life, including you. I need to tell you that you are an important, positive influence in my life and that I love you very much. OK dear?”
Charlie had no idea what to say.
Chloe sat next to him trying to stifle a grin. “Kurt Sampson you say? That name sounds familiar.”
Charlie shot her a glare, then turned to his Mother. “Thanks, that’s good to know. Why don’t you tell us about Derek? What happened to James?”
“Oh, James was 3 or 4 men ago, Charlie. You need to pay more attention. Derek here has been on the scene for a week or so. He’s been teaching me deep meditation. It’s ideal, really. He drifts off for half the day and I get to do what I want. When he comes back we have sex. It’s an excellent relationship. Have you two had sex yet?”
“Mother that’s not a polite question.”
“Such a sensitive boy. You shouldn’t be embarrassed about sex, Charlie, it’s the most natural thing in the world, very good for your aura…” She stopped herself. “That’s it isn’t it. That’s why you look different today, you had sex.”
Charlie covered his face with his hands and moaned gently while Chloe burst out laughing.
Carol reached over and hugged her son. “Well done, my boy. Well done. You’ve taken a step into a wider world.” She turned back to Chloe. “Tell me dear, how was he?”
“I’m not sure if Charlie would be comfortable if I told you about it.”
“Never mind him, dear. He gets uncomfortable when people get within a yard of his personal space.”
Time to make an escape plan.
* * *
They went directly to the train station from Charlie’s Mother’s house. Chloe laughed most of the way.
Carol eventually let go of the sex conversation after Chloe admitted that her son was an excellent and very considerate lover before refusing to make any further comments. They whiled away a few more hours with Charlie’s baby pictures and embarrassing childhood stories.
“You know, I think my favourite one was when you went downstairs as a five year old, completely naked, and sang the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song in front of your parents and a load of their friends. I might ask you to re-enact that next time I come down.”
Charlie had been stuck in a spiral of desperate self-loathing and shame since they’d left. “I can’t believe she did that to me.”
“You thought I’d be uncomfortable around your Mum didn’t you?”
“A little. I won’t make that mistake again.”
“Charlie, stop torturing yourself. She’s great. She loves you so much, and is very proud of you. She’s priceless.”
They got to the station and waited for the train. It arrived far to quickly for Charlie’s liking.
“I hate it when you leave.”
“I know. I’ll be back before you know it.” She pressed her body against him and they kissed tenderly. “I meant what I told your Mum, you know.” She turned, climbed onto the train and gave him a wicked smile as it pulled away.
Many thanks for reading. If you have any feedback or thoughts, feel free to comment below.